Exactly one year today. What remains, after the immediate blow of separation is lived through? Well, memories of many brilliant moments, unique in themselves, that could only have happened in this exact setting: you and me. A sense of loss, still. More the loss of things, that didn’t happen with us. And yes, I still do regret wasting the two and a half years, asking, begging and waiting for you to compromise and make our relationship work for me, too. After all, it was you who changed the rules single-handedly and without explanation. But no hard feelings: it was my decision to invest the time in you, I was so convinced, you’d be able to come around. The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley…, as Robert Burns points out. Next time round – if there ever is any – I’ll just have to be more careful with the gift of lifetime granted to me. And again, I’ll take with me from all those years spent with you, proof to my conviction, that love never really vanishes. It stays with one for as long as one lives. Because loving alters us to an extend that is irreversible. We can not change back and wipe out who we have become getting so involved with another human being.
Finally, it is – to me – a new and enthralling experience to be single. I can’t remember ever being single for such a long strech of time ever since coming of age. So, all in all: something old, something new, something borrowed and lots of blue…
Amy Winehouse, Love is a losing game
