I know it’s only rock and roll but I like it.
Tomorrow it will be a year that you asked me over to your place for some food for the first time. We had known each other since a couple of years by then, meeting off and on at our club, enjoying the odd conversation after a tournament. And then you started something quite different. I remember vividly feeling like having been hit on the head with something hard, coming back home from your place last year. Since I would have laughed at anyone suggesting you and I had more to do with each other than being mere acquaintances. Even friendship or card – pal would have been to big a word to describe our standing. Whatever it was that triggered you into action twelve months ago, it was not a matter of the heart. Neither with you nor with me. But things change. No one can talk intelligently about someone elses inner state. But I know one or two things about myself. Not always liking what I see. The pleasing thing, however, is the way you make me feel about myself. Thank you for that. And for the opportunity to get to know you better. I have found you to be a gentle man, more on the quiet side. Bordering on silentness whenever topics get close to home. Which might sound odd to people who know you from afar, since there is no lack of words with you in public. Also, I’ve found you to be a person who takes something oldfashioned like providence and care seriously. Be it your cat, your mother, your wife or your friends. Another quality is your honesty. Although you have taken yourself, the woman you had a relationship with until recently and me through some roller coaster times you managed to stay honest about yourself and toward us about what was going on at all times. And even if I don’t always like it, you’re quite straight with your criticism. You did tell me that some figures of speech I use are totally off track, that I am not exactly living up to my possibilities in professional life, that I am too fat and something needs to be done about that belly of mine. As well as that wart on my cheek. And my way of dressing is not to your liking, either. But that goes both ways, I think your wardrobe horrible, too. You, as opposed to me, were prepaired to open your dresser and let me throw out every single awful jumper you owned but for the two that were halfway tolerable. Plus, you do wear a belt with your trousers ever since I mentioned the fact that belt loops are there for a purpose. Even if I never mention it, I do notice small things like that. As this seems to turn into an almost embarrasing praise, I’ll just throw in your cooking abilites, too. I’ve never been fed better and more regularly before (except by my mother as far as regularity is concerned). And while I’m at it: you are a good dancer, are well read and educated even if you keep that to yourself mostly, you love to play games and for all your honest criticism I crave your compliments as I tend to take them on face value, too. You love good music and I absolutely adore the evenings spent listening to your collection of great tunes or going to live acts. As well as I enjoy the times you read to me for hours on end. And don’t get me started on your ability to create intimacy. As I said: it’s only rock and roll but I like it…
The Rolling Stones, It’s only rock and roll
Wow, that was some lenghty entry for a woman who considers herself single, won’t you agree? Where did that all come from? Maybe it’s about time to reconsider ones self perception. No rush, these things have got a way to sort themselves out. Either which way that might be.
floatsome 