not a young man anymore

Wow. What a weekend. Although I am on the edge of middle age, I felt like a teenager once again. What with being introduced to friends and family as the new woman in this man’s life. And would you believe it? I was stressed out. Good thing about middle age: one is a bit more in control of the trembling, at least I hope I was. Saturday night was the 60th birthday of twins who are his friends since forever. 40 odd people, none of which I knew or have ever met before. Quite liked the remark of one of the guests stating: “You are the only new face so I take it you are xy’s new girl?”. I noticed the sideway glances from people all night long. Taxing, smiling, often followed by whispered remarks to whoever they were with. Funny, since we have a history of some 15 months by now. But we kept that pretty much to ourselves, for our respective private reasons. Apart from very close friends whom we would trust with the state of our hearts. Saturday night his close friends were given the show bit out of the show and tell routine. Followed – unannounced to me – by a dinner with his mom on Sunday night. That kind of keeled me over. Never mind that we two elderly ladies managed to keep our cool in the face of other friends of the family attending dinner, too. Both appearing relaxed in each others company. Well, I wasn’t, inside. Not at all. I knew his mom, as she knew me, from the odd bridge tournament. Meaning, we knew each others name and which club we play for. That was how far we ever got. At least he gave his mom a three weeks shout in advance. Letting her in on the so called news. I did not have that privilege. I knew he told her about us but I did not know we were to have dinner. Right up to 20 minutes before it happened. Maybe just as well. Mind you, I am not complaining. But I haven’t even told my mom yet. I liked the secretive state we kept our private affairs in up until now. Something for us to know and us only. But I trust I shall adjust to the new settings. It’s just that I am surprised with the degree of nervousness I went through. As if an experience like this was altogether new to me. Just goes to show… My not so young man causing all sorts of exitement to me. Not bad, not bad at all. It’s great, to be honest. He is in love with me. And now others have been so advised. Weird way of telling me, but I got the message. And while I’m at it: I’m in love with him, too. There you go, it didn’t even hurt to say it. To you guys in cyberspace, anyways. Because, as far as I am concerned, I have found you to be trustworthy, so far.

Velvet Underground, I’m not a young man anymore