past tense effects

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Now it happened. Thursday night someone said to me: You must have been pretty once. That came as a blow, really. It is not about being pretty or not. It is the past tense used, that got me. After the initial shock, I thought further about it and felt like laughing. If it were true, then it was a total waste. As I always thought myself ugly, when I was young. Always trying to hide non-attractive parts of myself. Around age thirty I started to stop that nonsense, accepting the way I look as given and not worry about it any longer. As there is no way to change it, anyways. Now I will have to be careful to not get into the routine of thinking myself old. Would be just another reason to belittle myself all over again. As the only alternative to aging is to not get any older. And that is not an option, if I can help it. Anyways, the guy who uttered this atrocity was told that he owes me big time, the cheeky little bastard. Some friends I’ve got…


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