words

Learning something new about myself every day lately. Today I realised, I am at a loss to communicate personal or emotive thoughts over a telephone. Seems, I never had to, before. Stop, not true. Just not in German. Is my native tongue something too common to use? Mind you, no worries describing whatever troubles my little mind or heart in a descriptive way to third parties, a close friend or a trusted relative, perhaps. But when addressing whoever causes emotions directly, be they positive or negative, the words always come out wrong or not at all. Instead, I rattle on about everything not important. If I am lucky. If not, I am very much likely to make either a fool of myself or of the person I am talking to. More often than not, I manage to do both. Come to think of it, I should have noticed that a long time ago. I always get into trouble when cought off guard, having no time to retreat and gather my thoughts but having to react swiftly and directly. What good is it to be waxing lyrical about all and sundry, if your hearts not in it and whenever it is, you can’t talk properly? Today I’ve been told I behave like a teenager. Just goes to show…