I talked to my mom on the phone yesterday, just to coordinate all the appointments set for this week, in order to apply for and ensure payment for my dad’s care. Just to find out, that she has changed her mind again and now wants to bring him back home. Obviously, she has already bought a proper bed for the ill, that makes caring and moving a patient easier.

I don’t know what to think. She says, he is not happy at the home. At the same time she tells me, he doesn’t open his eyes any more. So how can she tell? Seems, he developed sores on his legs, as they had to be dressed already. I have no clue, how she thinks she can manage his care all by herself. She is talking about getting a 24h nurse to help her, but I seriously doubt, this is going to be any cheaper than a home place. And she herself is not the fittest, anymore. She has to use crutches to walk, for god’s sake! How is she and maybe – if at all feasible – another woman going to lift, turn, groom, a grown man too weak to open his eyes. With no lift, no speacial bath tube, in an old, small house.

It honestly is a mess and I don’t know what to think. It’s about time I form my own opinion. My flight is early tomorrow morning, so come afternoon, I shall be there in person. I really am still hesitant to see my father in such a state and would much rather not go. I want to keep him in my mind as I know him and rather not be confronted with what is left of him, now. But go I must, there is no escaping it.