This title of a T. C. Boyle book (not one of his best, btw, but this is of no concern here) would fit this post, I thought.
I have this friend, who has always been the one to patiently listen to all my sorrows and problems, ever since we first met start of the ninties. No matter, what it was, that bugged me, she would lend an ear and most often also have good advice to offer.
First we lived in the same village and shared our lives on a daily base. Later, when I moved to Berlin, contact was established via telephone, later emails, also. Plus frequent visits back and forth. Later even, blogging was added. I started out a couple of years ealier, with her following suit later on. I kept insisting, she tries it out. As I know her to be someone, who enjoys writing. Took her a while to adjust to the blog world, but I trust, she is into it now. Enjoying the many benefits of blogging.
A few years ago we moved from our original, German blog platform to wordpress. Now her overseas family is able to follow her blog more easily, if they so wish. The two of us eagerly following each others musings, almost on a daily base.
Thus, any time we meet in person, there are next to no news to tell. As we know already from the blog, what’s been on each others mind. This surprises my sweetheart no end, who doesn’t really read any of our blogs.
In preparation to her visit to Berlin last week, my friend offered to talk through my recent family trouble. We agreed to set some time aside to discuss my sister’s illness, my dad’s decay, my other friend’s loss of spouse and what this does to me.
But when that opportunity arose, I was lost for words. Really, what I am able to say about it, I have already blogged. What more can be said? So I just left it at that. I think, this was a first. But one can talk all one wants, sickness and death are not going to sway, just because third party people like me are talking about it.
So we kept talks to other topics. Her family, recent politics, mainly the havoc caused by POTUS45, the prick. And all that ensues. Which I know to bother my friend on a far more personal level than me. After all, she is a U.S. citizen, who deeply cares. She is disturbed in many ways, following the campaign and outcome of it closely.
But the next morning, she did something, that really touched me. I sat at the table, having my coffee, staring out the window. She came up to my side, hugged me and kissed my cheek. This was so unusal, but also so comforting. I felt her concern for me and it was so moving. In fact, I still am a bit wobbly. She didn’t say a thing and there was no need to.
Apart from Hello and Good bye hugs, we have never been physical in any way. I know of customs of friendship, that have a more physical side to it, which is also fine. But this never was part of our friendship.
At this point in time, it was yet another way she found, to express her genuine compassion and support. At a time, when talk talk woulnd’t have helped. Thank you.
4 thoughts on “talk, talk”
Great story. I’m not a huggy person either, but sometimes it is exactly the right thing to give or receive. A wordless type of communication. 🙂
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It was an impulse because talking wasn’t an option. Glad the message got through.
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Sometimes a good hug can say more than cartloads of words. By the way, I love TC Boyle! Which is your favorite? For me, I think it is either The Tortilla Curtain or When The Killing’s Done. I haven’t read Talk, Talk.
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I really liked Riven Rock, but also Drop City and East is East.
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