just a guess

I have been going on about my job, my workload and all the trouble involved with it far too much lately. Screened back two months or so worth of blog entries and found next to nothing about my sweetheart. Who has a great deal to do with my ability to cope with whatever puts a strain on me. I have to mention that. In case you thought he’s out of the picture somehow. He is not. Not at all.
But another thing bugs me. Is all this talk about work ethics and so on not just a way to excuse modern time slavery? As much as I am aware of my “privileged” status as someone who has a fairly good job (everything considered). With an adequate wage (not that any of it ever were left at the end of the month).
Is all this pep-talk just a means to camouflage my being trapped? With no way out other than to comply? I am pretty sure, bondsmen of old had their own code of honour, too. Gosh, even gladiators on their way to certain death tried to fight their fight with dignity and some “work ethics”, didn’t they? Maybe one just tries to function reputable within whatever boundaries ones station allows. I shudder with the thought, that someone somewhere is laughing all the way to the bank or to where ever it is they are off to. On the other hand, would I really like to swap places?
I’ll have to stop going down this line of thought any further. I wish I had the imagination to follow through with it. I suspect I wouldn’t like the consequence of this trail, though. Was not freedom just another word for nothing left to lose? Or is it, that Janis fell short of proving it to me? Breaking up as she did? Same goes for Amy, by the way. Not even Jim Morrison helps now, with his “just show me the way to the next whiskey bar, oh, don’t ask why.” Am too shot to shit to venture out for one of those, anyways.

How can I concentrate when all the while my head
Throw me scenarios so I tease my self esteem
Though I can talk it through
Really I finally talk
My frustration is released but nothing let em’ know
And added to that I’m sick of having to seek some peace
Because I need emotion with my physical release

Can’t help
But bring it up and beat the point to death
But my
Words are for nothing, I’m wasting my breath
Can’t help
But bring it up and beat the point to death
But my words are for nothing, I just keep wasting my breath

Amy Winehouse, Beat the point to death