I do get her point.
My little sister is suffering the after effects of cancer, radiation and chemo therapy. Both physically and mentally. I – and I take it, everyone else in the family – assumed, that getting through the operation and treatment, finding it a relative success, should do the trick. Cancer is gone, as far as medicine can tell for now. Phew. Close race, but she made it. Chapter closed, get better, get on with life.
However, it doesn’t work like that. There is a post operation traumatic shock, it seems. There are body functions gone forever. Along with the ability to return to her job. For good, it seems. As far as I understand, radiation damaged intestines to a point, digestion is out of order to this day. Her kidneys (had to be taken out during operation to get to other stuff) have been fixated on some artificial hold up. Which caught a germ or two in the process causing ongoing kidney infections. Oh, not to speak about the bladder function. Which is gone for good. Unless (still possible up to five years post operation) a nerve grows from her spinal cord to hook up the bladder outlet with her urethra once more. Her eyesight is weakening rapidly, she wears glasses now. Her teeth have all blackened and died off at the roots. A side effect of chemo, I learn. Lot’s of family savings spent on replacement. Her husband working double shifts to make ends meet, while one income is gone for good. What little money she gets from health insurance now is used up for medical and sanitary products needed on a daily base.
And there is nothing, I can do. Worse, I was of no use at all. Not even recognizing, that just lending an ear would have been good. I tried to call a couple of times. She didn’t answer and I thought: oh, maybe she is outside, in her garden. Let her be. She has her own family. And our mom.
After I called my sister last week, I gathered, that all of the above is the case. But my mom has withdrawn from my sister. Why, is beyond me. The pair have been quite close all the time. I do not understand. Our brother has not called her or visited, when he was in Austria recently. My sister isn’t taking this very well. She sounds bitter, blaming all and sundry to neglect her. It seems, there is a severe depression going on.
I need to go and see my her. Just as well, this rotten working year gets to an end soon.